Mirrorxghost's Journals

3AM Forever?

Abrupt stop in everything at school. Maybe a bit late, considering this all happened last week. Reading too much Marian Keyes. Friend pointed out that the books were intended for middle-aged women looking for a good read. She's probably right. Beg to differ though. Though, the more I read, the more I'm convinced she's right. Still, there's nothing wrong with it. Good author, good books, why should I be limited by age?

Holidays for 6 weeks (7, if you count staying home for the last week as a holiday). Sleep pattern all out-of-whack. Going to bed at 6AM, waking at 2PM. Going to bed at 5AM, waking at 8AM. Doesn't make much sense, if you ask me. Rekindled love with Lara Croft PS1 games. Bad graphics, good game. Surprisingly good quality for something made in 1996. Then again, I fail to believe that they had good technology before the 90's. Find it hard to believe that they had computers and mobile phones by the 80's. Mean I'm ignorant? Probably.

Cannot stand bogans. Of any kind. Utter distaste and have no intention to give them time of day. They're just so rude and arrogant. Then again, so am I. Probably.

Moving schools. Spent last day at school (last Friday) only talking to about 5 people. Ignored the rest. May have caused momentary guilt with one friend when I told them that it was last day. Probably hurt their feelings because we were close enough, but pretty much (my part, not theirs) burnt our friendship in less than 36 hours.
Old photos of them, upset me. My beautiful, gorgeous guys. Lost. Mostly my fault. Couldn't handle it. Stupid wench was all happy and cheery. Was a mess. Took a lot of strength not to just mouth off at her. I miss them something terrible. Wonder if they feel the same?

In a sick twisted way, want to cause them horrible grieving pain. Self-harm. Pretty fucked up.

Need a hair cut. And a new hair straightener. Probably should dye it darker.
Surprisingly, not afraid (yet) of new school. Even though they are completely based on image (unlike old school - warm, comfortable, welcoming and laid backed) and I'd never fit in. Body not up to their standards. Never really spent much time at the hair-dressers and/or salons. Don't care for them, to be honest.

Need new music. Internet usage pissing me off. 5GBs is not enough.

Morbid clowns scare me. Half convinced one is living my closet. Waiting for me to grab a dress or something. Fucking hate clowns.

Shannon;

Behind your over-confident persona and over-made-up face, you are just as ugly and insecure as the rest of us. Hurt and probably extremely broken and damaged.
Yeah, I don't know you, but I know girls like you.

You're not original. You're not special. You're just like the rest of. Get the fuck off your high horse and realize that you're not great. You're not a saviour to man. You're not some kinky sex goddess that men line the streets for, just to see a subtle hint of breast.
You look fucking ridiculous when you just mouth of. Little petty things, that do not matter.
You have double-standards. The reason you treat your "friends" and others around you like they're just rag dolls? Jealously, most likely.

You probably have some fucked up attention disorder that has gone unnoticed (medically, at least) for the past 15 years.

As far as I'm concerned, you cannot stand being cast to the side. You NEED to be the centre of attention. No matter what. I'm sure you'd stab your best friend in the eye with an ice pick if it meant you received the attention of 3 guys for several minutes. Then again, maybe it's just the person you are?

Bet that behind the rude remarks and snide comments is a very scared, very broken, very, very insecure little girl. Then again, I may be wrong. Could just be the way you've been raised.

One more thing before I go;
You're all talk. You talk yourself up and put yourself on a pedestal because you know if you acted average, people would see who you really are;
Fake. Angry. Attention-Seeking. Confused. Hurt. Weak. Rude.
All you want is a place in the world. I don't think you'll be able to achieve it with your current personality and a hair-dressing apprenticeship.

That is all.

Third Period - Maths

Digging myself deeper into this grave, hurt and confusion coarse through my veins. I hate you so much. You don't get IT! You don't understand why I get like this. I'm sick of being the blame. I'm tired of having to add to my list of fuck ups. I hate the way you expect me to be there. I hate how I can't say this to your face. You can't handle your home life, I can't handle life in general. I want to be stowed away from the world. I want to have the attention span to learn something in maths. I feel ugly. I am ugly. You spend HOURS trying to perfect yourself. I've destroyed my friendships.

Third Period - Maths

Back to School =]

Looking forward to seeing my friends tomorrow at school! :D

But deff. not looking forward to doing work
On the other hand, I can pretty much spend every lesson procrastinating and drawing spastic dinosaurs in the margins of my books.

I'm Original, Unconventional

I finally decided to sort through all the shit I've posted over the years.
I honestly do not understand why people added me or accepted my friend requests.
Seriously.
I was such a try *try hard*.

None of the content was original and *most* of the time I just ripped off other people
(E.G. pictures of bands that had been re-posted way too many times)

I'm hoping now that I've gone through everything, that I won't be such a tool and I'll be original and all that jazz - though, by the looks of it, Buzznet is becoming shallow and heartless and the people don't seem care about originality and individuality anymore.

Strawberry Jam ;)

MESSAGE.ME.BACK

Hi!

Hi! How's it going?

I haven't been on Buzznet for, what seems like, a lifetime. I see that the journal posting/editing thingy has changed. Maybe, I don't know. But it's deff. better than what I remember it as.

Happy Birthday Gerard!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERARD ARTHUR WAY!

On this day, 31 years ago, the most beautiful man was born.

He has helped so many people get through so much...

Words can not explain the awesomeness that is Gerard.

Anyway, happy 31st birthday Gee!

Misfit and Slash

So yesterday I gots 2 guinea pigs.

I wanted 2 girls but they weren't selling girls so I got 2 boys insted.

I named them;

Slash - After the guitarist.

Misfit - After the band... "The Misfits"

I love my guinea pigs!

This is their food... They don't seem to like carrots... No matter how much I put in their cage...

And this is their cage... That's Misfit on the ramp thingy, btw.

They are guinea pigs

THEY ARE NOT HAMSTERS!